November 28th - Dream #11

I just woke up from this..not too long ago.


I was in a house...with my fiance... and we were laughing and joking....
theres a bunch of people there talking...and some girls.
One of the girls makes a comment and he giggles about it...and says something that just didnt add up. So I question him about it, and some guy in the background makes his own comment, which further fuels my anger...so I'm yelling and screaming at my fiance... all the while he's not denying any of the things the people in the background are saying... nor trying to comfort me....I get even angrier and start to threaten the group of people....somehow some way my dad comes in and pulls me back, but I break loose of my dad's hold...and walk back over to Chad ... and I say " You know what Chad, I'm done..It's over. " and I walk out....

The dream takes me somewhere else.... and I keep seeing him with his friend...
and despite the fact that I broke up with him...I still love him so I look at him, and see him looking at me. He looks at me and nods...in a "whats up" type way.
& I turn my head.....


Later I see him again...and this time hes in a car.... on the passengers side..while I'm driving past...and he points at me.
The later on again I see him while I'm walking with a new boyfriend.... who was my best friend somehow in the dream.Chad says Hi to me & I say hi to him. Chad & Him start to argue....
Then my best friend/boyfriend in the dream says " Thats why I fucked yo girl!" ....and I look ...and I can see the pain &anger in Chad's eyes...he grabs me and starts to shake me asking why I had cheated on him...I start to water up in my eyes and respond that it wasnt cheating because we were broken up...and He had cheated on me with Unique (this happened in real life) ...and then he gets angrier and lets go off me, and walks off....

THEN he comes back and grabs my arm and says " You know what.... i dont give a fuck what I did, I dont give a fuck, what you did, I love you...." and then we walk off together."

" You know what.... i dont give a fuck what I did, I dont give a fuck, what you did, I love you...." and then we walk off together."

If only love could truly be unconditional & that forgiving....

I don't know why I had this dream, I don't know what the meaning behind it is....I do know tha, and I'll admit that...I still love him. I just can't see myself trusting him ever again like I used to.....
It's a complicated unresolved situation that I thought I resolved when I was down there on my birthday.


Maybe the dream's telling me...no matter what we'll always love each other, we just don't have to be together forever.

Novemeber 2nd - Dream #6

I woke up and this is what i remember.

I was a huge house....HUGE.... the house sat on a very nice parcel of land...with a pond behind it.
When I walked up...I was greeted by my friend Danny.
Before we went into the house a woman took pictures of us infront of some statues and fountains infront of the door.
We went in ...and the house was full of people...some of them his family others he said he didnt even know...

We went down this long hallway with so many doors the house seemed like a mansion or...a grand hotel. We went in his room and sat down, talked laughed...then some blonde haired woman came in...and kept trying to get me out of his room...to hers. But I kept telling her no.
so she left.
Then we went outside his room,down the hall to like a den or a loft...and his brother was there, and some older guy who i think was their uncle? He was cleaning and bitching about stuff ...lol.
There was a bag of unopened items sitting on danny's brother's "side" of the loft that his brother said was garbage..and that he was gonna go smoke...and left.
I looked at the bag..and said " what in the...? sit down glue? 18 and over?" then the uncle took the bag and said "that kid is getting weirder and weirder....
So then we all walk towards to the front door of the house again...and i go in the backyard with danny..and they have like this water park like..water filled round about thing....
no inntertubes though.
So im there with his female cousins ( they called themselves that) and we go around the thing once...then i get out the water, and suddenly all i have is a bikini on...
and danny walks up and gives me a towel..
we walk over to another part of the back yard(huge backyard) and theres like APARTMENTS THERE! and he goes upstairs and starts yelling at another uncle about messing up some of the apartments and that his dad is tired of it...and hes getting blamed for it...LMAO crazy shit.
He comes back stairs ....calls me doll and puts his hand around my waist and then we go back into the house to his room....i sit on the bed...and he sits next to me..I spill over onto his lap like putty...he starts playing in my hair..i smile. I look up at him, &bite him...he kisses me.
We roll over together...and start to cuddle. He pulls his hand into mine..I blush. i stick my hand in his shirt...he bites me....i lift his shirt off...and take mine off as well... i sit on him (suddenly im only in boy shorts) he says grr...i meow ...i feel something poke me through the boyshorts ( it felt soooooooo real, i was mad when i woke up)....i flip myself around...so my butts in the air, and hes still under me, next thing i know he puts his hands under my knees,and flips me over, i once again,feel like putty...and teases me...he enters slowly....and i wake up. >.< EVERY FUCKING TIME...IT GETS REALLY GOOD....I WAKE THE FUCK UP. UGH